Questions About
Grief & Loss
You most likely found yourself on this page because you lost a parent while still figuring out adulthood, are grieving while starting college, a career, or a family, lost a friend or sibling unexpectedly, feel like everyone else is "moving on," are navigating grief when your peers don't understand, or trying to build your adult life while carrying a major loss.
Don’t isolate. We all need love, support, and community in times of loss and great heartache. With grief group support or individual grief therapy, you can expect confidentiality and a judgement free zone. Young adults grieving deserve to speak and be heard in individual and/or grief group support services.
Am I Grieving Normally?
Maybe you're leaving your loved ones belongings untouched, going shopping shortly after the death, not crying, or crying too much. You might be asking yourself, is what I'm experiencing normal grief?
Grief doesn't look the same for everyone. You may cry constantly or barely cry at all. You may feel devastated one day and surprisingly okay the next. You may feel sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, relief, anxiety, confusion, or even moments of joy. There is no “right” way to grieve.
Grief is a reflection of how we are feeling, and how we are feeling can change in any given moment. That's why one moment you feel angry, the next moment you find acceptance, and another moment you're feeling depressed again. There is no deadline for grief. Grief comes and goes in waves and those waves can be triggered when we hit different life milestones.
How long am I supposed to grieve?
"I'm worried I'm taking too long to grieve." This is a common worry I hear from clients. They think they're supposed to be "better" after several months. Or they believe they are somehow failing because their grief isn't progressing according to someone else's expectations. When someone you love dies, you don't just "move on." You learn how to move forward while carrying the love and loss with you.
How long does grief last?
Grief doesn't have a deadline. Healing from loss doesn't mean forgetting the person you love or reaching a point where you never feel sad again. Over time, grief may become less consuming, while memories, love, and moments of sadness remain. The goal isn't to “move on.” It's to learn how to move forward while making room for your loss.
Why don't I feel like myself anymore? Will I ever feel like myself again after losing someone I love?
Grief can affect:
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energy
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appetite
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concentration
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motivation
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sleep
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relationships
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ability to enjoy things
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sense of identity
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ability to imagine the future
There's nothing wrong with you for feeling disconnected, numb, exhausted, like a different person, detached from your old life, unable to relate to friends, unable to enjoy things you used to enjoy. This can be a normal experience after grief. Because loss is extremely disorienting. It makes sense and I can understand why you'd be feeling this way.
Some people describe grief as feeling like they were suddenly thrown into a completely different life and wanted to return to the life they had before their parent, sibling, husband, wife, friend, or other loved one died.
The Grieving Process is...
Normal
First off, grief is normal, and there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. We all need love and support in times of loss. Grief is the natural emotional response to significant loss. We have to feel in order to heal, otherwise we are numbing.
Unpredictable
There is no timeline for grieving. And the stages of grief reflect our feelings (i.e. depression, denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance) and how we feel can change at any given moment. It’s normal to feel intense emotions right away, or several months later when the numbness and shock has worn off.
Different for everyone.
Everyone grieves differently. It’s normal if you and a family member respond in different ways. Everyone is on their own grief timeline. Some people might cry, others might want to talk more about their loved one or person who died, or someone might enjoy celebrating memories or engaging in new or old traditions they had with the person who died.
Ready To Take The Next Step?
Schedule Individual Grief & Bereavement Counseling or
Join 6-Week Grief Group Support and start finding your way forward after loss.